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March 12, 2017
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Progressive Church Announces Plans to Host “Brand New” Gender Reveal Parties

A local has announced their detailed plans to begin to hosting “new gender” reveal parties. The move is aimed at being more accommodating and supportive to transgender and new gender decisions.

“We want to offer a safe place for people to go when they want to announce they want to switch genders, or even invent new genders as often as they feel like” commented Pastor Julie Sanders. “With new genders being added to our world all the time, it’s important we find ways to enable these people with their decisions.”

Modeled after the recent trend of modern gender reveal parties, in which expecting parents and their friends and family, are surprised with the sex of their new baby, these “new gender” reveal parties are expected to be a hit. Party-goers and new gender-ees alike will all be surprised when the person’s new gender is revealed by the popping of large balloon.

The first “new gender” reveal party is scheduled for later this month.

“I am so stoked to find out what gender I am going to be” said Jamie Wilson, a soon-to-be new gendered person. “Last time I looked on the internet there were roughly 40 new genders. The suspense is killing me! Will I be a hir, henom, jee, ne, he, nis, or it? Just a few short days and I’ll know.”

The news has been met with some resistance by many who point out that there are only two genders in the world (male and female), and those who say otherwise are confused.

 

***This article was submitted by an anonymous, yet hilarious, contributor.***

Matt Butts
Matt Butts
Christian. Husband. Father. Seminary Student. Blogger. Podcaster.

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